Monday 18 March 2013

My #OgaAtTheTop: The Most Effective Laughter Pill Ever

The past few days, as always, have been filled with both fascinating and controversial news usually discussed by the perpetually insomniac social media audience. 

From the release of new songs/music videos to the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMCVA); from the most unfortunate news that President Jona exonerated some rogues to the disheartening report of the killing of seven hostages by Boko Haram re-loaded, Ansaru.

In one of my articles, I said that one thing which stimulates me about Nigeria is that there are no dull moments; no day passes without one funny episode or the other, be it in high offices or the immediate environment.

Now onto the reason why we are here: Recently a guest on Channels Television’s breakfast programme, Sunrise Daily, embarrassed himself, his career, his family, his friends, his agency and indeed the rest us.

Mr. Obafaiye Shem is the Lagos State Commandant of the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corp (NSCDC). Naturally, one would have thought that a man holding such status would be brilliant and have an in-depth knowledge of where he gets his daily bread. I was wrong as our dear Shem could not “categorically” tell the official website of the NSCDC because only is overall boss knows it.

I missed the programmed where bros goofed, so the first time I saw the phrase “My Oga at the top” trending on twitter, I thought it was a new slang. However, careful surf through the conversation dazed me. Don’t even try to envision my upset when I watched the video.

Honestly, it is sad and shameful that a top echelon in the para-military messed up that much. If he is unable to provide a simple thing as an address on the internet, how did he attain his current locus? What criteria were used in the promotion exercise – if there was any at all? We should ask questions; many of his kind are holding positions of authority, blowing sirens up and down with empty brains.

More worrisome is that the official was invited to speak on the job racketeering in Ministries, Department and Agencies. Who knows, he may have been smuggled into the Corp via the back door or by a special list as habitual. I suggest his employment and all others must be probed. It is good that this problem has come up albeit in the most hilarious manner.

Public and civil officials should know that ours is a clime where the people do not forget stupidity in a hurry and just like the Boys’ Scout, they should always be prepared.

My hope is that the revered “Oga at the top” will not ridicule himself when the searchlight beams on him. As it is stands now, the “Oga at the bottom” fumbled a trillion fold, oh he really did. His time in service should be over soon but since this is Naija, he may get promoted and subsequently become the Commandant General of NSCDC. When that happens, I will personally sue the government in power on the grounds of 'national insult'.

On a lighter note, I appreciate his blunder. Whenever I wish to laugh plentifully, I simply play back the video which I already saved. In effect, I am considering burning the audiovisual in a disk and then conceal in my bank.

Meanwhile: “Okay, If you want to know about NSCDC as at now; Okay www.nscdc (*mute*)...Yes, so (*coughs*)…daz all” - Lwkmd!

By Wale Odunsi

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