It is paramount for women in marriage to admit that sex is highly important and is one of the means of keeping marriages intact. Most men are not cut out for extramarital affairs in the real sense of it. But they are tempted to go into them...
It is believed that one gets a licence to have unlimited sex once you‘re publicly proclaimed married, but the reverse seems to be the case in many homes. Statistically, wives don‘t give sex as much as they should.
It could be true that men are not as romantic as they should, but then, when they don‘t get enough sex in the home, they go outside. This is an epidemic that needs serious attention. And believe me; those girls are ever ready for action. Many wives are beautiful and sexy, but they always complain that they are tired. Having children makes it more challenging to be up and doing sexually, however, it does not mean sex should become a scarce commodity.
It is shocking that at least 60-70 per cent of Lagos men get sexual satisfaction outside their matrimonial bed. Yes. While wives always complain of tiredness, men come under pressure from these pretty girls all over the place. While a good number of married men do it, many don‘t even enjoy it. But it’s the only way to relieve sexual pressure. Some men in their forties have confessed to me. “Madam Funmi, we need good regular sex, at least once a week. When we don‘t get it, most of us always call these girls and we meet after work. We don‘t love them as we love our wives, but we enjoy their company and have great sex. Many wives used to say these girls outside had used juju or something on us, but it is all a big lie. These girls always get the married men because their legs are ready to open without pleading and bribing,” one of my clients told me.”
Once in a while, wives go out of your way and tell your partner how badly you want him. ‘It may sound crazy or childish but it’s magic. Then seize opportunity to make him feel sexually needed. For instance, while talking to one another, grab his hands and wrap them around your waist or place them round your shoulder. This action will send messages beyond speech to your man.
Men are natural conquest-loving creatures, which is why they get so hot when you let them take over. If he feels like he‘s sexually needed and you are willing to surrender to his ego, he will always make it up to you. There are many ways to keep the fire burning. Exchanging sexy text messages in the middle of the day is one way. The reason is to get both of you psyched up for an intimate encounter later in the day. You may try saying something naughty, such as, “Don’t work out too hard tonight…you’ll need your energy in the bedroom later!” or “Can’t hold on much longer, you have to be here in the next few hours.”
Writing nice and romantic love notes and placing them in strategic places where they will attract your partner’s attention can also do the magic. You may consider sending him an out-of-the-blue e-mail. Tell him how much you desire him and what you will do to him the minute he comes home. Send the message to his personal mail boxes, and then wait for a racy response.
Trying different sexual positions in bed may be helpful. Instead of the ones that you are familiar with, why don’t you try out ‘stand and deliver’ stuff for a change?
Putting on sexy nightwear to bed can make lovemaking even hotter, especially when you are wearing your partner’s favourite colour and design. Leave the bedroom clothes on and wear nothing else. Wives often ask me how they can keep the home front and still give their husbands the type of sexual excitement they were experiencing while they were new in marriage.
My answer: Stay connected. Being connected body-to-body and heart-to-heart is what makes sex fulfilling and fun. The point here is that there is this ever present hormone in a man that makes him crave for sex. It’s inbuilt; the best you can do is help to channel it well.
[Sex & Sexuality: Intimate Tips for Healthy Marriage]
By Funmi Akingbade