Step 1: Be Confident
When
a woman is quiet or seems dissatisfied, a man often looks to himself,
wondering if he's lacking technique or not doing enough to please his
partner. A man may expect to hear those moans of passion and see his
woman lose herself. If this level of intensity is missing, he may
wonder, what's wrong?
The
truth about what women want in bed lies less in technique and more in
attitude. She craves your confidence. A woman doesn't expect a man to be
a mind reader, but rather to be curious bout every detail of her body
and eager to explore it. She wants a take-charge kind of guy who's
neither shy nor timid about his need to completely ravage every bit of
her.
As
sex educators, we teach women the very same thing. We encourage women
to take charge of their sex lives by communicating their wants and needs
to their partners. Through communication, we remind them, they're much
more likely to get their needs met. If a woman is more confident, the
theory holds, he's likely to feed off of her confidence.
Part 2: Don't Rush Things — Enjoy The Ride
In
reality, many men are often focused on the end goal:orgasm. Rushing to
get to the climax like they're in a race, they often forget to be
present and in the moment. Most women will grow bored of this. I'm not
saying women don't like a quickie every now and then, but this approach
will eventually kill the enjoyment of sex. And often, this betrays a
lack of confidence in the man. A woman's intuition kicks in.
A
woman wants to feel that she's in the hands of a stable, secure,
present and focused man — not a guy who's racing to the finish line.
This kind of juveline behavior leaves her feeling like less than a
woman. There's also a lot of truth to all the hype about foreplay.
Foreplay has less to do with specific sex acts, like kissing or oral
sex, and much more to do with romance. The key to good foreplay is to
relish every second of the experience, to be a little selfish (yes,
selfish) but also present in the moment — and not rushing through it.
True
foreplay includes inhaling her scent and touching every part of her
body with your hands and mouth. True foreplay includes kissing lips,
necks, ears and more. It involves undressing her, slowly enough, but not
too slow, with just the right amount of force. Foreplay includes
touching parts of her body you don't normally touch, inner thighs, lower
stomach — and excluding the vagina until the very last moment. Touching
close — but not right away — adds an element of tease to the act too.
Massaging the feet while kissing her, touching her legs and thighs with
passionate squeezes — all the while being focused and present.
In
the end, confidence is key, not just in the way a man carries himself,
but also in the way he makes her feel — like she's in the hands of
someone who knows what he wants, knows what he's doing and gives her the
security she needs to completely surrender. Bringing this to the
bedroom can unleash her inner vixen. If she feels safe and secure, she
is more likely to let her wild side come out too.
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