Wednesday, 10 October 2012

The Successful Career Woman’s Guide to Landing and Keeping a Man!

Many, many women I know are self sufficient, successful and capable. They spent many years getting a degree or advanced degree and are now in a very successful and rewarding career. They’ve bought houses, gone on trips and own businesses, they’re beautiful and are amazing human beings.. but they have no idea why they can’t get a man to stay!!!
I’m not talking about the women who don’t WANT a man in their life. They’ve been there and done it! I’m talking about the woman who WANTS a man, a companion and a friend to share their life with. And I don’t mean a gay man!
Many of these women are teaching in universities, running businesses or partners in a law firm. They’re content on the outside, but very much would like to have a man at their side. They’ll NEVER admit it to anyone, because they’re often teased about being single and are always showing up to events with friends and not a companion. They’re tough on the outside, because they’ve had to be.
But when they get together with their closest friends, or their coach, they confide in each other and this is what they’ve shared:
They don’t NEED A man.. but they WANT one.
I’ve learned so many amazing things from being around these women. They are truly incredibly self sufficient and can run their house better than most women I know. But there is one thing they lack and it’s what I have taught them:
Warmth with people and of course.. the all important FLIRTING SKILLS!!!
Now before you go and stop reading because I went and wrote something so incredibly basic, let me ask you this:
*When did you last make the person you were talking with, feel good about themselves?
*When was the last time you let the person you were talking to, know that they were needed?
*When was the last time that the person who was talking to you, walked away with a smile on their face?
If the answer to any of these questions was “I don’t remember”… then that was TOO long ago! If the answer was “just yesterday”.. then you’re doing a good job!
Today’s world is so busy, that we rush through life just trying to squeeze all of the necessary things in. Often times we don’t give the actual people we come in contact with a second look, let alone a thought.
When I’m working with the people who want to develop warmth in their life the first thing I do is to send them out with a different set of eyes. When they go to the store, their ASSIGNMENT is to greet the people behind the meat counter or cash register and make THEM feel special.
How is a person supposed to do THAT you ask? Two days ago, I decided to make Cuban Sandwiches for lunch. So, I went to the 17 year old boy behind the counter and started asking for his recommendations… for meat, for condiments, and for cheese. Before you knew it, he was telling me OTHER dishes he wanted to make or had made recently. We were having a terrific conversation and when I left, I told him this: “I can guarantee that you’re going to make a great husband!” When I left, I knew he felt great.. and I did too.
Practicing in low risk situation is always the best. So when you’re in that situation of really wanting to show a person of the opposite sex that you’d like to get to know them BETTER, then you’ll have LOTS of practice of making a person feel special.
Okay, yes, flirting does also involve dressing up a bit, using the long linger of the eyes, glancing sideways at the person you admire and quickly away with a smile, and all of those little things that we can do when we like someone. To some people, these come naturally, but to others, they have to learn them all again.
Other suggestions for the ALL IMPORTANT flirting are to briefly touch the man on his arm, laugh at all of his jokes, and keep your body very casual, not so professional, stiff and unrelaxed. He’ll REALLY get the drift if you say something like, “oh my gosh.. you’re so silly” while you laugh with him and give him a little push on the arm just for good measure!
But the best one is to really make a person feel special and NEEDED. If you’re incredibly self sufficient then GREAT. But don’t let your “being a complete human without a man” side of you forget that MEN NEED TO BE NEEDED. They want to feel and BE special to that special woman, and they want to know that to the outside world, you’re competent, successful and beautiful… but at home?
All you need is HIM!

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