Tuesday 24 September 2013
Reasons For Being Patient In A Relationship
Not only is patience a virtue, it could make the difference in either you being single forever or ending up with your lifelong partner sooner than you’d even imagined. Blessing Ukemena writes with report from Madamnoire.com
The truth is, rushing things only tends to set you back. You could probably look at your dating history and find that to be very true. In love, patience truly is a virtue. If you look a little closer, you’d see that these ways of being more patient could save you some heartache.
You’re Considering A Life Partner
So, you’re having fun right now. And you could see the two of you being happy for a few years. What about beyond that? Could you see this partner stepping up the game if life gets difficult? Could you see yourself happy to hang out with him every day? Could you see the two of you living harmoniously under the same roof? It’s okay if you don’t know that the answer is yes. But if the answer is no…what are you doing in that relationship? Ask yourself all of those questions before making any big decisions, and don’t rush it.
Let Your Head Keep Up With Your Heart
You want to find love, and that’s a problem. Yes, it is, because we see what we want to see, and if love is what you’re looking for, you’ll think you see it in any half-decent guy. If you get caught up in the idea of having someone to take trips with and take home to your parents, it might be too late when you finally realise you’re not actually compatible. Playing house is fun with anyone for a while – usually long enough to get your heart tangled up in something it shouldn’t be. Take things slow, so you can see things clearly, without your enormous expectations interfering.
Red Flags Can Stay Very Hidden
There are many red flags in a relationship that just don’t come up in everyday conversation. And that won’t come up for hundreds of days. Some couples are going along, thinking everything is perfect, until a discussion over a pack of gum leads them to discover they have conflicting points of views on something that will be crucial to them getting along, something that may lead to a break up. Give yourself enough time to turn over every stone.
Life Won’t Pause For You
There are other aspects of your life, like work and school, that won’t pause because you are in a relationship. If you think you can throw all your energy into your relationship – all your time and attention and emotions – thinking you can get back to your work and friends later, you’re wrong. Those things will not wait for you. Somebody else will get promoted at work and somebody else will step in to hang out with your BFF. You need to make a point of balancing it all from the beginning. And spending six nights a week with a guy does not let you do that.
Different Points Of View
Remember, you see the world through your frame of reference; your past experiences, your memories, your upbringing, your traumas and so forth. Whenever you feel upset with a guy, and think you want to end things over something he’s said or done, pause for a minute and think about where he is coming from. Point of view is everything in relationships and too many end prematurely because nobody was seeing things from the other person’s point of view.
For Emotional Clarity
Women feel before they think. It’s just true and it’s not always a bad thing. Our intuition gets us far in life, but when it comes to love, our emotions are the one thing that can lead us astray. Decisions (decisions to move in together, to break up, to bring up an issue) shouldn’t be made out of fear of being alone, or personal insecurities, or anger or pain. But these fears all tend to be louder than our rational thoughts. The bigger the decision, the more time you should allow for your emotions to subside before you make it.
There Will Be Plenty Of Fights
If you’re going to argue because a guy is 15 minutes late, you’re going to have a miserable life, because as far as arguments go, you ain’t seen nothing yet. There will also be rent and mortgages and bills and in-laws and children and health insurance to argue about. Think about that when picking your battles. And don’t pick the small ones. You want issues? Life will give you issues.
You Can Sleep Off Most Things
Seriously, you actually can. Don’t pick a fight right before bedtime. These are usually provoked by crankiness, and escalate as you get sleepier and crankier. Everything seems worse when you’re tired. You’d be amazed how many problems a good night’s rest can fix. So, even if you feel you have to pick a certain fight, just wait and see if you still want to tomorrow.
Men Don’t Respond To Yelling
Men seal up and lock up like a vault when yelled at. If saying something now will mean yelling, go for a walk, go back to your own apartment, call a friend and vent, but wait until you respond to something upsetting your partner has done or said. If you yell, it might be a week before your guy gives you his audience again.