a little bit of (honest) fun.
What most people think about when they hear about long-distance
relationships is failure. Some type of failure. Failure to communicate,
failure to stay interested, failure to keep one’s hands off of another
man or woman. But it isn’t so. What long-distance is really about is
success… succeeding in sacrificing for a special person, succeeding in
doing what most people are unable to do: make love work at a distance.
First, however, we have to get one thing straight. In order for a long-distance relationship to work, BOTH parties must be very and equally interested in making this work in
the first place. I’ve made long-distance work but only when she was as
interested as I am. If you sense any doubt or have any reason to be
skeptical about the other person’s commitment, then the harsh reality is
that it might not workout. However, if you have both talked and are
sure you want to go along, we here at thecollegeguys.com can help you
make it happen.
Being able to send messages to your significant other is crucial but not always so simple. If this is going to work,
you’re going to have to do whatever it takes to communicate everything
you need to to your special somebody. Try to make it easy on yourself by
getting friendly phone plans (free mobile-to-mobile perhaps) and
achieve an online presence (online messenger with 30 dollar web cam).
Write letters, emails, text messages…mix it up over time and talk about
what’s going on, how you feel and other positive things. Never focus on
the distance or time, ever. That will promote undesirable sentiment towards your situation.
Also try to talk every so often about your situation. If you to are
willing to see other people but stay close, make sure its mutual. DO NOT
have close relations with another if your partner only cares about you. This is considered cheating.
One of the worst things that can happen is for one person in the
relationship to be incredibly busy while the other is incredibly bored.
This is just asking for trouble. Instead, what is ideal is for both
members of this union to share
more or less the same kind of schedule. If you’re living at home like a
bum it might be hard to make this work if your girlfriend is working
to be a doctor at Yale. Interests will change sharply and time will
become a factor…what will keep you interested when she has to study for
hours tonight and tomorrow, for instance? Instead, if you’re both bums
or both studying to save the world, chances for this to work will be higher.
Keep it interesting
Try different things. Save money
(key word: sacrifice) so that you can visit him/her or s/he can visit
you. Play around with phone sex. Play games. Get creative. Remember, if
you’re really serious, it behooves you to be able to keep each other
interested in a variety of ways. Expensive gifts and/or sexuality
shouldn’t be the only things keeping you together.
The benefits to long-distance dating are several. For one, you will not feel suffocated by your partner.
You’ll have more time for yourself and for other things that you
consider important and wouldn’t have time for otherwise. Also, you will
appreciate the time you two DO have together, resulting in meaningful,
quality time that other couples will envy.
Just do it
Now there will be a lot of negativity around: people who snicker at
you, tell you you’re missing out or crazy…forget that. Just keep doing
what you’re doing. If the person is worth it, you will have the last
laugh. Everyone wants others to fail to make themselves feel better, so
succeed at this and you can rub
it in later. Once you two make the decision to go along with this,
NOTHING should hold you back except for the interest for and of each
other. You’ll have room to do what you need to, and you know that no
matter how far, there’s always somone there for you.